Updated: Dec 1, 2019
What exactly is a toxic person? According to the Urban Dictionary:
"an individual (or individuals) who has a very negative and self-entitlement disorder outlook in life. They are never happy and always want more and more. They will lead you astray."
I have had my fair share of toxic people in my life. Looking back in hindsight, I understand why I had to let those people go. Some relationships can be hard to let go of, such as a friendship of 20+ years, or maybe even a long-time best friend. Trust me, I know because I've been there. I also know that we outgrow people, and not everyone is meant to travel with you for your entire life journey. When you remove toxic people from your life, you make room for the beautiful new souls who are ready to enter.
I have spent the past few years outgrowing a lot of people, and that's ok. Because when we grow, we're upgrading our energy, it's like our soul has graduated to a new level. And not everyone who was on our journey with us can continue.
As toxic people come in many forms, I have put together nine signs of how to identify a toxic person in your life.
1. You feel drained every time you hang out with them
This usually happens with people you've been friends with for a long time. You don't even realize it's happening because this person is your "friend," but each time you hang out with them, your energy is completely drained. These people love to gossip, complain, talk negative, and dump all their emotional baggage on you.
2. They are never at fault and are always the victim
Toxic people will never take ownership of their wrongdoings. They tend to think the world is against them, and they are never wrong.
3. They don't respect your boundaries
Toxic people will have no respect for you or the boundaries you've created. They will continue to behave in any way they chose with no disregard for you.
It could be about the smallest thing, but they lie. Maybe they will exaggerate a story because they feel bad about themselves, or have low self-esteem, or it's to get something they want. Either way, toxic people do not like to tell the whole truth.
5. Their behavior is inconsistent
Toxic people like this remind me of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. You never know who you're going to get. People like this are usually really sweet or charming around or in a group setting, but once you get them alone, they're entirely someone else.
6. The jealous ones
As your friend, they're never excited about your achievements, or when you call them excited about a new chapter in your life, these people will always try to one-up you.
7. They have drama in their lives
Everything is energy, and you attract what you put out. Toxic people always have drama or chaos going on in their life.
8. They talk more then they listen
People like this don't actually care what you have to say. They want you to listen to everything they have to say and don't want you to get one word in, and when you do talk, they show no signs of interest.
9. They try to control you
They will try to control you and the way you think. People who have no control over their own lives will try to control that of others.
Toxic people come in many forms, and these are just a few of the signs of identifying one. And that's why removing people that are toxic from your life is so important. People like this will drain your energy. They will make you question the choices you have made, and they will not be excited to see you living your best life.
You deserve to have people in your life who support your accomplishments, who make you feel good after spending time with them. Friends are supposed to be our cheerleaders, not our energy drainers. Take a look around at the people you allow into your life. Pay attention to the "friends" who are not excited to celebrate you when you accomplished something significant in your life.
Cutting toxic people out of your life can be difficult at first, especially if its a long time friend. But once you do it, you'll realize how much better your life is without the negativity. Everyone deserves to be happy. To protect your energy cut off anyone or anything that is no longer serving you.
If it makes you uncomfortable to have a conversation with someone that you no longer want to be friends with, I would recommend slowly distancing yourself from that person. Remember, this is your life and your happiness. You don't owe anyone an explanation of why you don't want to do things. Do what sets your soul on fire, and anything that is negative allow it to fall away.
“Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.” – DLQ
Soul & Life Coach