You may or may not be aware of this, but whether you’re aware of it or not, wounds from our childhood are affecting us today. Until we learn how to heal, grow, and do the inner work, the wounds will continue to affect us; whether it’s conscious or subconscious, we all have wounds from the past we need to deal with eventually to be our best selves.
Let me explain. Some trauma from our past or childhood is affecting us as adults. It could be unemotional parents, losing a parent to death, or absent parents early in your life. Having a family member raise you instead of your biological parent(s) would leave a person feeling abandoned and having abandonment issues as an adult.
Maybe you had a parent or parents who never uttered the words “I love you” who never showed love in an affectionate way. Or parents who didn’t nurture you and show you the love that you needed. This would have a person feeling “unworthy to receive love,” it could usher in many different ways as an adult. You could push people away because you don’t feel worthy to receive love, or you could attract “lessons” people who will treat you the same way that a parent or parents did. You will continue to feel a lack of love and unworthiness. Sometimes people who did not receive love from their parent(s) show love the same way, but do not express it and show it, but deep downing yearning for it. We all want to love and to be loved.
These are just some of the examples of how your childhood wounds could be affecting you today; whether it’s conscious or not, there is always a way to find out how your inner wounds are affecting you today.
Take a look at your life, friendships, relationships. Do you see any recurring patterns? For instance, do you continue to attract the same types of lessons in your life or people just in different masks? If so, there is something to be learned there (self-love), but that’s another article. It’s easy to identify where the wound is if you take a hard look at your life.
I had a client about a year ago come to me, and she was a delighted woman. She was married, had beautiful children, and a picture-perfect life. But she came to me struggling with her sexuality. She told me she struggled to receive a compliment from her husband, such as “you look so beautiful today.” When she shared this with me, I knew the wound went back to her past or childhood, and I knew it involved a man saying something to her or being traumatized by an event. So I asked her the hard questions. Amongst one of those questions was, “has any male ever said anything to you when you were little to make you believe that story as an adult?” That ended up being the golden question. She shared that when she was seven years old on Halloween, she had put on red lipstick, and her father looked at her and said, “you look like a whore,” and at seven years old, that became her story she told herself her entire life. There was never any sexual abuse or assault. Her trauma was simply her father saying something that was so incorrect to any child or woman in any way. She played this on repeat for years, and the story she told herself became how she felt about herself that she was uncomfortable receiving compliments even if they came from her own husband. To heal, we did forgiveness towards her father and a lot of self-love and worth work to align with her true divine feminine. But I share that story to show you that something as simple as a parent saying something to you as a child could be the story we end up telling ourselves our whole life.
I always ask my clients, “are you the victim or the victor” do not let your past define or write your story for today. You can always heal, grow, and choose something better. You have that choice.